“I need to Save My Marriage?”
What should I do?
Considering I have an amazing success rate in saving my marriage thanks to Mort Fertel Marriage Fitness, friends and strangers alike have been asking me for marriage help for a few years now.
And I love helping where I can so it was no surprise when one of my friends asked me an emotional “how can I save my marriage. I need to stop a divorce. Help me”
His desperation brought back some nasty memories for me but here are the questions I asked him followed by some straight forward advice to save a marriage and stop a divorce.
First question I asked was…
“Ok explain to me what’s going on?”
Of course at this…he like almost all of us went on and starting explaining how his wife was screwing up and jeopardizing their marriage several different ways. Not only was she not giving the marriage any more effort but she was also entertaining conversations with an old romantic flame from high school.
Knowing this was a very emotionally charged situation I was careful on how I proceeded but my questioning began as follows.
“First things first, I’m sorry you’re going through this man…I know it sucks…but tell me, what role have you played in this marriage collapsing to its current point?”
Shocked with my line of questioning my friend asked… “didn’t you hear what I just said…my wife is talking to an old romantic flame from high school…she’s the one f***ing up”.
I replied “I understand that but trust me… she didn’t just wake up one day and say to herself…you know what…I’m going to reconnect with an old romantic flame from high school.
No… truth be told, she’s probably been miserable for quite some time and only now are you seeing the results of that past misery.
So once again… what was your role in allowing this marriage to get where it is today?”
Now my friend was starting to see the picture more clearly.
Far too often when it comes to marriage problems we want to blame the other party but if there’s one valuable lesson I learned from Mort Fertel Marriage Fitness, it’s that we need to concentrate on Our Own Problems before we start blaming others for our marriage problems.
After some more probing, my friend finally started to come up with some good answers. Here’s a list of the problems he’s personally caused in his marriage.
1. Neglecting his wife in favor of playing video games;
2. Not going to bed at the same time as his wife so completely losing the opportunity to be emotionally connected with her;
3. Not being available for her by phone during the day when she called for stuff – usually blaming it on both their busy work schedules;
4. Not taking the effort to connect with her during the day – not even a simple text to ask how your day was going;
5. Coming home from a long-day of work and rather than sitting and connecting with his wife, instead opening up a beer;
6. Drinking beer in excess daily until it became a major issue in their marriage;
7. Not going on regular dates with his wife;
8. Not doing special things for her just because; and
9. Many more I’m sure but you get the idea!
Once revealed I knew his marriage problems were severe!
How did I know this with certainty?
Because I have already gone through Mort Fertel Marriage Fitness and I personally was to blame for all these problems back in the day as well.
It was like déjà vu staring me smack in the face. I hated hearing about his problems because they brought back terrible memories of my marriage problems.
Now… given all this, what did I tell him to start doing immediately to start fixing his marriage problems and saving his marriage?
I wish the advice I gave him was profound but truth be told now that I’ve created this Mort Fertel Review it’s like second nature to me and so easy to come up with the right advice.
For starters I told him to:
#1: Table any issues he personally has with his wife and definitely to forget about the fact she’s talking to some old romantic flame.
• To fix your marriage problems, you need to start letting things go.
• Fixing a marriage isn’t about who’s right or wrong… it’s about creating a
connection again with your spouse to a point where marriage problems don’t exist
• I explained to him that he’ll never forget about this other guy in the picture which in the end could be a good thing for him.
• For some reason or the other, she’s going to him for conversation rather than you.
• It’s your job to figure out why and be what she needs!
#2: I told him to sit down and try to remember how him and his wife used to be when they first fell in love.
• What did they used to do?
• How often did they see each other?
• How often would they laugh together?
• How often would they go on vacation?
• How often would they talk to each other during the day?
#3: After figuring out how they “used to be” I advised him to start doing some of the things they used to do. In essence his job became to create the same type of environment from the past where they were in love.
#4: I also advised him about working on himself. I asked him… “look… back in the day your wife was madly in love with you. Why? What was she in love with? Was it a guy who comes home and plays video games or someone who doesn’t talk to her and would rather drink beer? Who was it? Think deep about this?
• Upon investigation, my friend remembered some of the things he used to be into but has long let go because he moved on in life. He blamed it on marriage and kids.
• Look… getting married or having children isn’t a death sentence. You don’t have to reinvent yourself. You can be the same person as long as you are considerate to your spouse and kids.
• From this discovery, my friend has started to pursue some of his old passions like drag racing cars. As a side note… I told him that’s super cool. In fact pretty sexy if you ask me. Imagine yourself drag racing again with your helmet on. Your wife will probably be attracted to that again.
So there you have it…the advice I gave my friend in a nutshell on how to save a marriage and stop a divorce.
I wish I could take all the credit for this but I can’t.
I simply learned all this through Mort Fertel Marriage Fitness.
In fact my marriage is so strong today because of Mort Fertel that I have spent a considerable time over the last few years creating the Mort Fertel Review blog so others like you reading this right now can benefit from my mistakes and discovery.
Before I finish, if you’re having some marriage problems right now and need to save your marriage, I wholeheartedly recommend Mort’s program. Getting started couldn’t be easier.
Simply Click Here to Visit Mort Fertel’s Official Site and start getting help instantly directly from Mort.
Good luck and I hope you enjoyed this post and once again thank you for checking out this Mort Fertel Review.